As a Catholic in today’s Christian culture, It can be very difficult to become and stay faithful. For me, I was never religious until about 4 years ago. As far as I can remember my parents always took my siblings and I to church as children and told us to believe in God.
They enrolled me into CCD which is known as the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. To sum it up, it is basically catholic school. I had to attend CCD for about 7 years to complete the sacrament of confirmation. It always felt like a burden to me. I wasn’t interested in religion and I didn’t like going to church either. It was even more insane because now I had to go to a different kind of school. I mean who really enjoyed school at such a young age. I felt like I was going to die back then.
At the start of CCD, I had already completed the first sacrament of baptism. I was baptized when I was very young so I do not remember it very well. I just remember that it was a very cold and long night since we had a celebration party afterwards. Classic hispanics, always having a party for something.
Through CCD I was able to complete my second sacrament which was the eucharist. Completing this sacrament took around 2 years. I don’t remember the day I actually completed it but I do know that it was special for many people.
After completing the sacrament of the Eucharist I started working towards the final sacrament in the sacraments of initiation. Throughout my entire time at CCD I didn’t feel connected to God. I prayed once every 4 months. I didn’t know how to pray properly either. I was just there to finish my sacraments.
For some background information, sacraments are seen as signs of divine grace which were instituted by Jesus Christ.
They are seven sacraments in the Roman Catholic Church that belong to three individual categories.
Sacraments of Initiation
Baptism
Eucharist
Confirmation
Sacraments of Healing
Reconciliation
Anointing of the sick
Sacraments of Commitment
Matrimony
Holy orders
I was given a catholic bible in my final year of CCD. I had just recently completed the sacrament of confirmation soon after turning 14. The sacrament of confirmation is a spiritual and physical event as well as the final step in the sacraments of initiation. As a gift, one of my teachers gave me a bible. This bible, to me, represents the struggle and journey that it takes to be religious in today's Christian culture.
The sacrament of confirmation requires you to go to a form of catholic teaching for several years. I had done so much work in my church to be able to complete and finish my confirmation sacrament. I didn’t put all that work into it because I enjoyed it; I did it because I knew that I wouldn’t have to do anything else once this final sacrament was completed.
Confirmation was the last sacrament to do inside of the sacraments of initiation. Completing this sacrament basically meant that I would have somewhat full knowledge of the catholic teaching. I would no longer have to attend any CCD classes or be required by these classes to attend church on the weekends. I would be free from any obligation. That is why I put so much effort into finishing this sacrament.
I was excited to finally get away from everything. At this point in time, I did not feel religious. I felt disconnected from everything I’ve been taught. Completing this final sacrament was my escape to freedom.
Things did not go the way I thought they would once I finished my sacrament of confirmation. For some reason, I went back to church soon after finishing my sacrament.
I truly believe that my reason for going back to church was to seek help due to heartbreak. Which is kind of embarrassing now that I’m looking back on it. There was just a lot going on in that year. The heartbreak experience happened around 2 months after completing my final sacrament. I was in a very bad place and I wasn’t doing so well. I tried to look for outside help and that led me back to church.
I started to go every single Sunday by myself. I started to pray more and often and slowly grew into my faith. I had started to become very comfortable with being a Christian. At this point, I started to really grow and become religious. I prayed more than I ever did in my entire life. I started to follow the teachings that I learned and I actively went to church every Sunday. I was almost an entirely new person because of church. I found myself to be in a much better position. I noticed the changes in my behavior and feelings. Although, becoming more religious came with its own set of problems.
As I started to become more involved in my faith I started to notice some things. People in my church would be quick to judge you on the simplest things. They can be very ignorant to certain topics. They’re so into the faith that they literally use their faith as some sort of weapon. It’s almost as if having faith justifies being a hypocrite and judging others for no valid reason. Most Christians will justify their actions by using scripture but often times the verse that they are referring to does not coincide with their actions or intentions.
It’s not something that only happens in my church but something that happens outside of it. This is something I believe because I see it happen so much outside of my own church. So many Christians are judgy and tend to be very hypocritical of what they do and say.
“His research shows that 87% of 16-29-year-olds in 2007 believed that Christians are judgmental, and 85% said Christians are hypocritical.” (Nelson, 2017)
Here, Mark Nelson provides a study on how people view Christians. This study only further proves that a majority of people find Christians to be judgemental and hypocritical. They create an environment that is very toxic within the Christian community. They create a name for themselves and unfortunately that creates a stigma about Christianity. I’ve met so many Christians who turn out to be very hypocritical and quick to judge. They give everyone a rough time and instead of being nice and supportive they can be very passive aggressive and wear you out. The Christian community can be very toxic but I like to say that most of them are actually very loving and the complete opposite of those who I’ve just described.
I just remember feeling very upset because of how bad those Christians can really affect our image. We’re not suppose to be hypocritical of others. We’re not suppose to judge others at first glance either. It just sucks because it’s not what the Christian community is at its core.
My bible has been with me when I couldn’t care about religion and it has stayed to see my progress as a practicing Catholic. I remember when I first started reading the bible and how I felt. I felt excited, I felt like I was finally finding my way as a Christian.
My bible has been with me through all of it. It’s not just a linear path to being a Christian. There are so many ups and downs that come along with it. My bible has seen me at my lows as a Christian and vice versa. Most of my progress as a Christian has come from reading the bible. There is much information to take in and it really leaves you with a lot of important information. A lot of teachings are found in the bible as well as prayers.
If you were to meet a Christian who is devoted to their faith I guarantee you that they will have a bible on them. It’s something you carry with you because it holds so much value in our religion. It may carry personal value but it definitely carries a lot of religious value. It reminds me of what Michael Bond said in his article about objects.
“Possessions are also symbols of social standing and status.” (Bond, 2018).
I fully agree with this statement. I think it holds up very well in today's world. If you were to see somebody in public walking around with a bible you would assume that they are devoted to being some kind of Christian. No average person walks around with a bible in hand. It represents something, carrying that bible with you represents who you are as a person. It shows that you are a part of the faith.
Like myself, the bible for many others may represent their own religious journey.
“The Falcon had a clear personality: it was old, a little cranky, and insecure about its appeal, vacillating between feeling like a proud antique and a rusting junker.” (Donath, n.d)
Here, Judith Donath really captures what an object may represent. She personified her car by giving it a personality by the appearance and functionality of said car.
The same can be said about how people take care of their bibles. A worn and drawn bible says a lot about the owner. The owner has obviously written on it with ideas of what he thinks a verse is saying. The bible being worn signifies that it has been used for a very long time which implies that he/she has been religious for a long time. Sometimes the writing on the bible may capture the emotion of the reader as he’s reading the chapters. It tells the story of the reader and how far along they have come as a Christian. The bible is the centerpiece of every Christians story.
Personally, my bibles pages have started to turn yellow as most book pages do due to oxidation. The chapters that I’ve read the most have started to become creased. There’s verses that are underlined and I have written on some pages as well. My bible is a reminder to myself of how far along I’ve come as a Christian.
If you were to tell me where I would end up in my faith five years ago, I would probably laugh at you.
I’m very proud of myself. I’m proud of myself because of how far I’ve come. I remember the feeling of not wanting to go to church. I remember hating every weekend because I would have to attend church.
Now, I love it. It’s an emotional thing for me now. I’m a completely different person now. I feel connected to God, to church, to my Bible. In present day, I actually help the priest serve mass(also known as services). I’m one of many helpers. They’re normally called alter servers. I became one when I started my journey. Then, I actually got some what of a promotion. I’m now in a group called Guardians of the Alter. It’s funny because around the time I joined the guardians my faith felt like it was also receiving a promotion.
I still have a lot of growing to do in my faith. I still have my ups and downs. I’m actually going through something with my faith as of right now. I know everything will be okay eventually. It just goes to show you that there will always be room for growth and that nobody is perfect and that it’s okay to have problems.
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